In Conversation

I had a long conversation with Christ last night. Yet I cannot remember the details of what we talked about that could take up the entire night. Fortunately, I still remember gists of it.

Was tempted to title this post Christ Consciousness, but it obviously is not about the world at large. He was helping me come to terms with many things in life, things that I know will come to pass, things that I wonder why I still do despite knowing how they will fan out. Things that I just know will turn out like that, yet something in me still nudges me on. For there are broader laws governing the Universe, for things that my conscious mind is yet able to comprehend. But the heart knows. The heart, not in the physical, but that soulful still small voice within.

“Break even in x month” came clear and bright during one of my meditations. It was a phrase that is so clearly stated, there is no room for any doubt at all. The question is “what do you mean by break even”? Judging from the circumstance during that period, it would not have sounded presumptuous at all to reference it to the business breaking even. It is a natural association, especially after I saw the lotus emerging from the pot of gold just days before that, and that was the whole focus of my brain there and then. However, there was a naggy feeling that the break-even could mean a split, which would not surprise me at all.

Prior to that, my parents, my family, Lynda, Cristina had shared that each’s feeling is that I will be running my own business. My own as in my own, not our, not working for someone else. I had that feeling too, honestly. It is a matter of time. But what kind of time? I would know when it is time, is often the reply.

So I knew at each point from march till now that it was not the time yet. Yet, I also know that the time will come. Soon. YET, there is still a fire in me, driving me to still push to the best of my abilities. It is so strange. Had I known and truly believed that this is the result, would I still have pushed so hard? Funnily, the answer to myself is still a resounding Yes. Because my soul would also truly believe that God is not bringing me on a wild goose chase or to fly some kite / aeroplane / what you deem fit, but that there is a lesson in it. There are lessons in it. Wow. Now I truly get it – life is not about the destination but the journey.

That answers the break part, but not the break even.

At each point, time and again, God kept reminding me of our Free Will, “are you sure this is what you want?”. “Tell me your decision”. YET, Love conquers everytime. I now recall the imagery of the soldier, the key and the door. We have fought together then, and I have taken the key to open up this door for us. Not me, but us. We had bid our comradeship goodbye, shoulder to shoulder, with the finest, lightest words “and so we are free to go“. The word LOYALTY arose then. And under a myriad of guises a few times after. Although the dynamics did balance themselves out immediately after, the karmic energies still take some time to even themselves out.

That solves the puzzle completely.

Not exactly. WHAT’S WITH THE TABLE? *pull hair*

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