Agony

Urghs. The agony of tuning in to a half-told secret. It is like being to told jump and then stopped at the trajectory point right before freefall.

What a delicious description to a long-awaited meditation after a two-week hiatus, a celebration of mercury finally going direct again, and of course, one of the special two days when we on earth enjoy a perfectly balanced day and night (the other being my birthday <3).

Ellen joined us today. Yippee! Somehow it always feels so at home talking to her, even recalling back to the kibbutzy days in Shanghai. It was even more at home then, cos she seemed to be the only one thinking and talking at my frequency of “rebelliousness”. So we chatted and then settled into our mats. And then teacher Shirley’s last call for toilet break, a voice said to me “you better go, you have work to do today”.

Yikes. For the last few times I had “work” to do, it had to do with cleaning up of messy unwelcomed energies. This time, though, I did not receive any instructions on shielding or protecting earlier in the day, so I have no idea what beholds.

It did not help that I was introduced to a fourth type of frequency today, which went on and on and on for the entire chakra balancing session. It is a notch, or maybe two notches, higher than what I used to hear. The previous highest frequency used to serve as a warning signal for me that danger is lurking right around the corner. So, I was rather apprehensive about what is happening with this even higher one – is it really THAT dangerous right now?

It did not help either that I do not see anything today. My feeling was that the new frequencies are the presence of super duper a lot of ascended masters today, it is like they are crowding up our tiny room while holding their own conversations. All I could see was a whole cloud of murky grey energies fuzzing around. It feels like a larger consciousness, not exactly higher, but broader in the sense of humanity. OH. It was what I saw this morning, a much bigger and much murkier scale of it. It also reminds me so much of the last meditation, except that the previous one was a sea of ominous red bubbling and gathering strength, while this evening’s was a grey situation that is already status quo. Lady Nada said hi at the last one, this evening nobody did. 😦

Chatted with teacher Shirley after class, and indeed, there were many many ascended masters today. I told her I was told that I need to work today, but I did not feel like I did anything at all. I was just there listening to a whole load of chatter that I have no inkling about nor understanding to. She said sometimes we are physically here, but our Soul / Higher Self are doing some work that our physical self are not privy to.

Sigh, so while I have my share of fun circumventing Ego, my Higher Self is happily (hopefully) doing work that I have absolutely no idea of. Eek, and communicating to my much-respected guides/masters in a language I have no idea about?

Tsk. Well, at least I learnt today that when I feel like I am not myself (such as during the second part of chakra clearing through sound), it could just be Higher Self taking over. More technically correct way to phrase it would be myself being more aligned with my Higher Self. And I speak with a lower voice. Sexy~ hahaha.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Such great perspectives into the workings of your mind! More people should take notice to approach it the way you do

    Liked by 1 person

    1. leapingtoes says:

      Thank you for your kind comments! Each post is a work-in-progress.. I write so I can understand how my own thoughts work… 🙂

      Like

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