Ego asks too many questions the Self will not bother with.
My life has been in a blurry spiral since Thursday, reaching its climax on Saturday, and finally settled down today. It had only been four days, but it feels like a full week had passed by my consciousness. These are the days when the divine instructs that no work be done, except hang around and download whatever He has to say. I was lifelessly sitting around, or lying down, while my brain buzzes with information I cannot comprehend.
It is a little odd. Despite not knowing what is going, I can feel that they are thought forms, and I can feel some leaving and some coming in. I think they leave from the back of our heads, while they enter from the top. And those that left are heavy and coarse, while those that came in are light and highly charged, buzzing like musical notes or fine friendly electricity.
Saturday morning was a fresh new start. It started with very clear instructions “you have to focus on yourself today”. Naturally I did, the voice was so clear and solemn. For the first time during Yoga class, I had five or six masters talking to me, all at the same time. I am impressed that the messages still get across, so unlike the linearity of thought in the human world which causes so much angst when one interrupts another. This is pure love. This time, in a language I can understand, and using references to my experience and thoughts over the last few days. I was totally stunned, and at one point Uncle Johnson had to say “Ping, oei, sit down already”, as I stared (with my esoteric eye) into space while Yogi Bhajan explained something else to me.
I suddenly understood that Kundalini Yoga class is not just learning about cool yoga moves, but an awareness about life and what it teaches us. It is not just about that advanced technology of using our fingers to short-circuit our physical body system to trigger certain organs. It is really coming to terms with our Selves, and humbling our Ego as we learn from our very own Selves.
I cried as I did the kriyas, from the pure love that the ascended masters so patiently showered upon me, and their unconditional love, as they stood behind the veils of greys watching me go through crazy thoughts of what the heck I was meant to do. Such patient explanations, such unconditional love, while the silly ignoramus me “negotiated” with them on what I did to do my “job”. Finally, I told them “I ACCEPT”. I only remember two, although we went through a whole long list of “do you accept .. blahblahblah”, and I replied with “I accept … blahblahblah”. As human legal minds work, I added subclauses “I accept my role, but you have to give me clear instructions on what I need to do at each step of the way“. “I accept supporting Her in Her role.” Beloved masters told me so lovingly “we are not negotiating with you, we are guiding you”. ❤
[Side note to myself: the voice made me change “her” to “Her”.]
Instead of our monthly Reiki Share, Sunday was working out our roles via a constellation card game. I was absolutely conked out during the whole session, and only came back to consciousness at night. Grounded myself till I fall asleep, and actually woke up refreshed this morning, and suddenly have a very clear understanding of what just happened over the last few days. And of course the findings of yesterday’s session.
I guess I need some time to come to terms with it. In the meantime, enjoy your week~