Finally awake after a half-conscious Friday/Saturday. It feels wonderful to surf through life enjoying every moment, and time extremely well-planned by the Universe, almost like a treat from Above. Such mastery.
The strangeness started on Friday evening. When I wrote the previous post, half of me so badly wanted to take it down, but each time I tried, something stopped me – my phone would hang, and when I moved to my Macbook and my Mac, both devices hung as well. There must a lesson behind this, so I kept it online, while feeling absolutely embarrassed about the disrespectful tone in my writing.
It all came to pass when YC sent us her Sunday reading this morning on the dark side of spirituality, which I quote (italics added by me),
“Another misconception is that a spiritual awakening is the end goal, when in reality it is just the start, it’s a bit like capturing a wild lion and expecting it to be tame. You have to nurture your spirit and continue to ask questions. Sometimes you will not like the answers and at other times the answers will not always be clear, but if you persevere you will find what you are looking for.”
So I suppose, the authenticity here is, to not be subdued and project only what is “acceptable” to the society (or to myself), but to project the “truth”, as long as I properly address it afterward. It is good to surface these questions, so that I can look for the answers. I am so blessed to be able to connect with the guidance of the masters at such a personal level. Therefore, it is also part of my job to share these learnings, so that more people can face these “problems” themselves, which many seem to hold back as a “sin” that keeps that “wall” between them and the divine realm. We are all on a learning journey. Wow, the message actually just came in – for me to be more compassionate towards myself (including my monkey mind).
There was so much downloading going on these two days, I am still feeling it as I type (the contents downloaded are more than whatever I’m putting up on this post, but I have no idea what they are). The most curious was last night, when I got “put to sleep” at 8:30pm. I was halfway through a Skype messaging spree with mentor, I think. I was, at the same time, trying to nudge the group into distant full moon meditation, but my physical body had already stopped functioning at wake state. I vaguely remember crawling into bed with my crystal and meditating. I reported to the Seventh Plane first, as I was somewhat afraid of what is happening, this whole losing control of my consciousness, but He was unfazed. So I did two mantras, which I kept nodding off throughout, and then conked out at a certain point. This is what happens when I insist on working, while Universe needs to work on / with me.
So I was absolutely unconscious until 4am, when I regained consciousness upon this message “google Hologram”. My brain, being its usual calculative self, first counted how many hours I have slept – 7.5hours, which means, I am okay to be awake (haha!!). So I found out that hologram’s main idea is actually about how although we only see a certain part of something, its existence is still a whole. I actually thought it was just this idea about illusion and perception and how we create our own “reality” based on what is conjured up by our minds or perceptions. Wow. Anyway, I do not know what the point of this knowledge is yet, so we shall see what unfolds.
I then caught up with the full moon meditation Sa Re Sa Sa, which was so beautiful. It was followed by Guru Ram Das again, cos I am somewhat still uncomfortable about being knocked out totally unconscious by what I do not know.
Messages that popped up during the whole process of losing unconsciousness? A whole “struggle” of “relinquish control” from Above, and “I am in my own power” from either my Self or my Mind. And the curiousest of all – “this is what channelling is like”, which did not make sense to me, cos I was going to sleep, I was not in a midst of channelling nor even talking to anyone! I was so afraid last night, but the revelations did come in this morning.
When I relinquish control (I have no idea why they are not advising me with the word “surrender” that is so frequently used in this context), their messages flow through unadulterated, and unobstructed, meaning so much more can be conveyed as opposed to still having the side job of convincing my monkey mind. And deep down in me, I know that I am in safe hands. Which means that, my current task is to find and resolve the underlying belief so that I can put myself in their hands, and be their tool in all entirety.
WOW. Newest revelation as I type – I am putting myself in His hands, and I am His tool. The entire vibration is different. Oh my goodness, not that I want to distinguish between different layers of the Oneness, but the entire vibration really is different. The entire perspective is different too. Which is also why we always have to go to the Seventh Plane before going to the Fifth.
I also got some tips on how to be able to open myself fully to His guidance. Everyday when I return home, I shall do as normal people do their showers – I shall clear my energy body, so that it cuts out all question marks of “is it because … blahblahblah” where I attribute all “good” stuffs to all possible “bad” stuffs. Once eliminating the possible excuses of the monkey mind, I can focus on accepting all His guidance in their pureness and wholeness. Great idea!
The newest example is happening Now. I am feeling really sleepy and drowsy, and feeling like I cannot think or move. It has to be something from Above, cos I have already cleared my energy body earlier, which means, there is absolutely no reason for me to start unnecessarily guessing sillybilly possibilities of “oh no, is that another entity again”, “shux, now I have to spend time clearing again”. By making clearing a habit, it makes it so easy to just do it and move on, without time and energy spent whining about it, or even thinking about whether to spend time and energy on it, which is all additional work. By making it a habit, whether or not there are disturbances in my energetic body, it will make me whole and totally in my own power, to fully and completely bask in His love, and His guidance, to do what I can (and am proud to) in the role that I am assigned to.
This is long! I have not even gotten to the point of raving about the lovely lunch date I had yesterday!!