Enthusiasm or the lack thereof

I had been feeling really enthusiastic about upping my game in blogging since work has finally calmed down to a normal pace. Then I saw how I had already missed one grand day, one grand prompt. And so I cheat a little, and tagged both in one post. hehe.

Yesterday was a really strange day. This week had been a pretty strange week. Let’s first discuss yesterday – I was absolutely zapped by 4pm, and my brain stopped functioning. In fact, my entire body almost gave up. After submitting the last set of assignments, I almost fell asleep at my desk. I wanted to do something else for some other project, but I guess Someone up there says nothing is more important than rest right now (which I guess He also meant that the set of assignments is important enough for me to not rest earlier.)

So I absentmindedly headed home, and laid totally lifeless in my huge sofa. The weird part was that a certain part of me was still very very alert. My body could not do anything, I could not think or do any work, but I was unable to switch off and sleep either. This is a very normal phenomenon for me these few years – body switching off, but something else is working very hard at something I cannot comprehend, particularly evident during special seasons. I suppose yesterday was Winter Solstice, which falls under one of those special days. My body was burning too. Usually I can feel the pressure on my head, but yesterday was strange, the pressure was in my hands, both hands. Feet as well, but I stuck tibetan quartz on them to clear out the energies. I have no idea about the hands though, they felt like they were swollen/bloated with energies. I wanted to read, so I did not stick tibetan quartz on them, maybe I should have done that.

I was sooooooooooo tired yet alert, I knew I had to do something. Something that did not require my body to move, and something that my consciousness would be happy with (definitely not work). So, I read up about Aura-Soma. Higher Self seems happy, and so I am happy! Vicky Wall (who started the movement) was a very inspiring lady. There were so many little details in the book that rang out loud and clear as reminders to me. For example, how she never questioned about her clairvoyance, or about the normalcy of it, nor the messages she received or tasks she was inspired to do. Her reason was that if she spent time questioning them, she would not have the time to get things done. That was the perfect message to my questioning mind. I am glad I’m already 99% over it. 😀

Now I really take what I was told / inspired to do, and put all faith and trust that He knows best what is going to happen, and what is the best I can do. The other 1% if really the monkey mind of “is it Self or Ego?”

There were many other takeaways, like I was semi-consciously shopping for the next bottle of Equilibrium to get. The one I have since Saturday is B102 Archangel Samael – my very first bottle! It was extremely effective at releasing the most difficult things in ourselves. The first night I applied the emulsion, I saw a past life of how I died. I saw how I laid in my mom’s (who is also my current mom) lap as I slowly faded away in the rumbling bus. I saw many other things that I could not remember, so it must have been a really difficult death. It really felt like a deeply hidden drawer had been unlocked, and finally getting to be swept out. It felt like it was something I did not want to face at all (definitely something to do with my relationship with my mother that life and this). I knew it because when I woke up the next morning, the very annoying pain and stuck energy in my emotional heart had finally gone. That stuck energy had been making its presence felt since a few months ago, but I just could not clear it, be it via theta or reiki or even that new chakra cleansing method.

As I read the book, I started plotting which other Equilibriums I want to get. Rahahah. So many. I used to say “ooooohhh, so pretty. Such lovely colours”. After being in front of these bottles on Saturday, I find it rather insulting to just judge them by their prettiness. They are really wayyyyyyy more than how they look. My first impression was all the pretty colours, the bright blues and pinks. I looked at the greens, and thought to myself “why would anyone pick this colour?” At the end of our “shopping”, I asked to have a reading to more appropriately choose what my soul wants. Oh gosh, have you seen the colour of B102? Olive green over a magenta so deep you would think it’s black. Sometimes what calls out to us is what we need, not what we like. But well, we learn to like them for what they are, and what they are good for.

Honestly, I am absolutely in love with my “ugly” bottle right now. It looks beautifully profound, or profoundly beautiful. And the clear disjuncture between the colours are now soft fluid mergence one into another, with a clear understanding of the difference, yet without that hard separation. Is that how my soul has evolved in these short five-day span?

Now you see why I really want to buy the other three bottles. ❤

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s