Carl Jung said/wrote, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
That is why we have all sorts of grudges and resentment towards people outside of us, who in fact serve only as mirrors to what we do not accept of ourselves.
Very fundamental perspective which I have accepted since embarking on this journey. Well, theories and concepts are always hard to accept at first, but upon integrating them into our lives, it is easy; and the next hardest steps are accepting the little bits and pieces out of stories that show how we exercise (or not) of these concepts.
I soaked in a day of anger and resentment (which I never knew I had) after I got my (new!!!) bottle of equilibrium. This time, it is affirming “love comes in letting go”. What do I need to let go off? As I shook the bottle, suspensions appear, giving it a really cloudy look, and as the bubbles disintegrates, I was left with cobwebs in the bottle (i think they are just the stretched surfaces of bubbles that have yet to burst). Oh well, housecleaning of my physical shell – loads of hidden emotions to clear.
It is so easy to blame others for many things. Obligations we feel, we blame it on people we feel obligated towards. Responsibilities (/burdens) we feel, we blame it on the people whom we think hold us responsible. Stress and pressure we feel, we blame it on the people who are structuring it (in fact, to make it easier for us). These merely boil down to boundaries, and our very own installation of it.
If we are clear of our boundaries, there should be no sense of obligations beyond what is appropriate. It would not affect us, if we know clearly what is right/wrong, and the other party (parties) will know too, once it has been established. Well, some things cannot be established as a one-off exercise, but requires a little navigation which should settle down into a clear boundary, but should also always start somewhere. The same with responsibilities – we know we are responsible to a certain extent but not beyond, and we need to know where that line of “beyondness” is, so that the other party knows clearly to not overstep. It may take a while to find the fine line, but if we do not start, it will just dingdong-volley all-around, making everyone so tired because everyone will be trying (/pushing) their luck.
All I want to say is that, we really need to learn to love ourselves first. It is not at all selfishness, but a way to love others too, because everyone is in this world for their own lessons to learn. Do not take this power away from them – the power and chance to learn their lessons so they can move on and continue to other lessons.