Scent of Love

The smell of 4am coffee is my closest experience to the scent of love. At the same time, the opposing scent of unworthiness. Someone wakes up at 4am to go to the gym, to be back in time for breakfast with me before we head out together. How I read it? Trying to avoid me and have alone time to collect himself before having to face me.

What a perfect example of mirrors. The perfect example of how unresolved issues with moms (/parents) are stumbling blocks to relationships with others. Also the perfect example of how important it is to love ourselves first before we can love others or receive love from others. Exemplary picture of self-worth or the lackthereof.

I think/feel I am standing on a different ground now. Maybe I am more ready than I was four years ago. And nine years ago. And fourteen years ago. Maybe this is part of the transformation and rebirth. The death card. The butterfly at the window.

Yea, I think and feel I am now ready.

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