I am so fortunate to have guides watching my back (and my words) all the time. Received a reminder yesterday to not use the word “deadline” but to use “timeline” instead, because I am not dead yet. I cheekily replied “dateline” but of course, it is not a “real” word for this context. I was so timely reminded to be careful with my words, and then I remembered my post just the night before.
Yikes. But I was referring to the death of Ego though.
Anyhow, I used to think I am indifferent to being alive or not, as my aim is to do my best for my highest good every day (and every moment possible). But yesterday, I was immersed in joy of being alive! I had been working rather intensely the whole day, churning out different things, getting my heart sore from certain things not working out the way they should, but at the end of it, I was feeling “there are going to be 60 very happy excited people reading emails tonight”. So a whiff of joy and fulfilment swept over me, and I just felt that life really is worth it.
Today, yet again, I was feeling joyful for this blessed life (not just this life being blessed, but that having a life is a blessing in itself), in that I get to do so many things I love and am passionate about. I love planning in the sense of community which I am doing now in the broader scheme of things; I love language, in deciphering nuances, contexts, and the underlying cultures it hints of, which I just spent a good whole hour tearing the Chinese language apart; and I love design, especially design that can impact people’s lives not for impact sake, but the positivity it brings to their lives. I am so thankful to be provided for in His grace, while, and to, do these work that I love, and these work that will help the world (or so I hope).
I watched TV with mom just now, and she was commenting (all-praise) about these two dudes contributing their services and materials to help people in Cambodia. HMMMMMM. I wonder if she knows what my brother and I do, or maybe that’s her surreptitious Asian expression of “hey children, I am proud of what you are doing”. I just quipped in nuggets of information as she watched. “Do you know that there are villagers who put in their entire life savings to bring their child to the hospital for treatment, and they are at a loss of what to do after that because they do not have enough money to get back home?” I wonder if she knows that my brother’s heading to Maldives again for this work straight after booking out from army this Thursday.
We are given our lives to do something, in our own little ways. I am glad I am at the spectrum where I can alleviate others’ lives, in my own little ways.
Cheers to being alive. 🙂