As I picked cards one after another, the past stories flowed into my consciousness one after another. My glaring selfishness stared me in my face, one realisation after another.
The last four years of healing certainly helped me to a point that when I look back now, I could finally see (I unblind myself!) all that I took for granted, twenty years in the making. I can now understand how the layers of ice coldness has melted and drifted away, finally exposing the soft vulnerable heart, which knew no better and now embarking on a fresh new journey of life with new eyes.
I saw the card with the kayak, calling back the day I parked mine so far away and got ticked off for it. I saw the card with the portal formed by trees, recalling the day we missed sunset at crane flat because I carelessly forgot that mountainous roads scale up to way longer in reality that what they look like on the maps. I recalled too, how fearful I was each time, and I don’t see why I should / could be so scared then. So much unspoken sweetness yet so much unspoken fear. Definitely a matter of karmic issues. Healing them by the layers.
As I look back now, my inner child issues seemed to have been resolved by the leaps and bounds. How I used to hide behind fear, hide behind nonchalance, hide behind veils of taking too many things for granted. These are all the molecules of the frozen heart. And now I can feel it beat again. Hopefully normal now.
I should have blogged about the Sacred Activations I did. They unlocked so many aspects of me for healing, without the hard digging work I had to do during Theta. Not forgetting the regression when Teacher Shirley stepped right in to counsel “us” with point-blank questions that never even crossed my mind to verbalise.
Haha, and for my BFFs reading these, it was these years of healing and therapy that I can now so shamelessly utter all that I said that night / morning. ❤
Words carry energy. I now see “shamelessly” as “unabashedly”. 🙂 Everyday, I get better and better. 🙂 🙂