Tranced out

Universe leaves no room for complacency.

Now I understand why the Universe has its own realm of Wheel of Fortune, the Total Solar Eclipse being one of its little workings.

I feel like He has just flung the carpet up high, and now the dust previously happily swept under has been swung from underneath.

I had thought my house-cleaning had been pretty well done so far. Constantly healing and clearing anything that no longer serves me. Sometimes, occasionally, having a stubborn stain that I did not want to face, yet always staring at my face. Until I cannot take it no more, I will still clear it out from my space.

But this dust. This dust well-concealed by the rug, well-vacuumed from the top, but covering so much secrets from underneath. Secrets forgotten, secrets lingering, secrets that I do not want to see, secrets whose existence I want to forget.

This Eclipse brought them all out again.

But it is good news, isn’t it?

Now I get to do the next layers of house-cleaning.

But in the meantime, I am in a state of trance, a subconscious/superconscious state of shock that got me not knowing what to do. Other than to cry.

It is shocking to sudden realise that I had no expression of emotions, and whatever emotions I had ever expressed are the superficial ones. And seriously? I thought Theta had helped me identify more emotions in this world than what I had previously known (only angry, sad, depressed, happy, joyful, bliss?). Now, three decades of emotions are staring me in my face. I feel sick right through my core, and overwhelmingly helpless.

Take care, my friends. This Eclipse is not an easy one.

But then again, this dust will settle. 🙂

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