Narcissism

Today is not a busy intense day. Neither was it a smooth day. It was like a tipper truck dropped little gravels all my path, and I was tripping over them one after another. How annoying was that!

Needed to find something more interesting to make up for this lack of accomplishment today. Maybe google my name (again??). Nah, I googled my star sign. Despite my interest in the spiritual realm, and my interest in astronomy and anything spacey, zodiac signs and predictions never managed to catch my eye. It is only this eclipse and the abysmal inward journey it forced upon me, that I started reading more in a valiant attempt to understand life from a perspective I never saw before. I was engrossed in a certain star sign, and was totally blown away, cos I never saw human nature as “stereotypes” of a certain “birth period” before. Yet, indeed they really start to appear like they ring true. In the broad stroke, at least.

As I exhausted the list of google pages over the past week, I thought it’s time I look at … Myself!! Oh gosh, how enlightening this exercise was. I blurted out in laughter as one post wrote “if you are reading this, you are probably an aries” because aries like to find out about themselves. 🙂 Oh my. I never saw it that way, but it is undeniably true.

I chuckled and laughed with each website I visited. That’s how much I love reading about myself, you know? Patience or the lack thereof is always a huge challenge. Yup, totally, I had to resort to my unakite bracelet to calm me down lest I offend people with my brashness. All the challenges I was trying to resolve in the past decades of my life, well, surfaced in a perfect structure all over the WWW. I could have read astro info much earlier and save myself all these trouble. But then again, I may well get into the complacent mode of inhabiting this established astro shell and go “alright, that’s how I am, just live with it”.

Moral of the story, life really throws us what we need at every moment, and hold certain things from us because there are other priorities that hold greater meaning and direction to our higher purpose. I guess now that I have come to terms with the parts of me that caused me a lot of trouble, and found my own way of coping or dealing with them, I am ready to face those traits and give myself a helluva huge pat on the back for having overcome them. In my own way. And definitely a much more sophisticated journey into understanding the nuances in between, rather than just “well I was born under those stars”.

AND. I realised self-centredness and narcissism are starkly different. Self and Centredness are in fact positive qualities of balance – and I still hope that the world strives for that – to be Centred and aligned with our Self (not self).

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