Why consciousness matters when it comes to communication.
I am memorising lines to say in situations, because I know my personality in rattling off my thoughts can turn out really awful when I don’t mean that at all. There are too many types of personalities in this world, and everyone comes with a different pair of eyes formed by their set of past experiences. That is probably why I am more comfortable talking openly to people I know than people I know only on the surface. That is also why I am more for an open world where people open their hearts to speak their minds, cos we can address much deeper issues people / society / world are facing. I am obviously an introvert. And one always having to stand in front of a grand audience. Ah well, life. Universe throws us challenges for us to grow.
While I am all jittery inside, I am collecting lines to diffuse situations. To be spoken, of course. It is a different story when I write or paint them.
- “You’ve got a lot on your mind. It’s easy to forget things.” Wow. hahaha, I laughed so hard inside when I read this. My natural instinct would be to say “what the heck, so we have to go back and get it?”, or in another situation “OMG.. you mean you forgot …? …!” And I say those words not out of anger nor resentment nor anything meaningful at all. It is just an instinctive response coming from a utilitarian space, and my brain jumps right into the next stage of computing what to do next to rectify the situation of what had been forgotten. The nice line quoted above would have come from my heart space, which takes a while to react, so I have to equip myself with better responses to give heart space faster reaction time.
- “We all have our moments. Now, is there anything I can do to help?” This is going to be brilliant response when someone snaps because that someone was too caught up in his own brain space and I accidentally pulled him out and into mine. To say it with a sweet smile, of course. Rather than a sheepish, apologetic, look-down-on-floor-and-twiddle-thumb kind of reaction which will only cause a whole stagnant atmosphere with both of us re-entering our own thought bubbles of “oh shucks, did I just do that again?”.
- “Are you having trouble with that? Would you like some help?” This is going to traverse an entire in-built fear barrier, thanks to my family lineage. I am still wondering if this is even the correct response. I am born into a family of extremely independent people, and any offer to help is equivalent to a stab into anyone’s ego space. I need to crowdsource for a better alternative line, rather than to say that. Or, I’ll just have to squirm in my position as I (impatiently) watch someone try to get something done, while (believing that) I know a better solution to that. Maybe the key is to get over that impatience and embrace the fact that everyone is entitled to an opportunity to try to figure something out however long they may take. But then again, I don’t want to appear like I am a spoilt princess just watching from the sidelines; and it is not partnership if I just disappear because I can’t bear to watch no more.
- “I upset you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Let me see if I can say that differently.” This will be the most frequently used line, it may be used sooooo often that there is not a single need to memorise at all! Which also explains why I love writing – because I can edit, re-edit, re-view, re-edit again, until I am happy to click “send” or “publish”.
Yet again, I am trying a different way of communication these days. To message from my heart space, I type what I want to with my eyes closed, and the sentences always turn out perfect. Even if they sound awfully stupid or awkward, I trust that what comes out from my heart space serves a higher purpose than what I am yet able to see. On occasions that my hands refuse to type what my mind thinks, I know that it is coming from a space that is too tenuous to connect with the frequency of the Universe where the larger Love resides.