Light | Shadow | Balance

It’s autumn equinox tomorrow! The time of the year to examine the balances in my life – that between darkness and light.

Spring equinox, too, is the most balanced day of the year, with perfectly equal day and night. However, I will usually be engrossed in celebrating my life, as it was that fateful day I was brought to this world. Thus, I doubt I ever contemplated about its meaning other than my birthday!

I am feeling a little iffy about this time of the year. The whole of August was dealing with my shadow aspects in the most intense ways ever, and I am rather afraid of what else this natural phenomenon is going to shine upon this time. Tsk. I am trying very hard to keep myself upbeat, but it had been one wave after another, as I tried to keep my head above water. It makes me a stronger swimmer though, and I am sure one fine day, I will learn to surf these waves in the stylish-est way possible.

I guess I am starting to see some shadows peering in already. Learnt a new phrase “ambivalent friends” recently, and was trying to distinguish it from “frenemies”. Very similar, so I guess it is a matter of 50/50 versus 70/30 kind of animosity? It is also rather depressing not to be able to share good news with friends, because not everyone enjoys someone else’s good news? Sometimes, it is not even about good news, but merely a pure joyous and blissful attitude about things in life? Shrugs. I guess this is when Autumnal Equinox comes in – take stock of our lives! Time to examine and have a clearer idea of the light and shadow of each person, rather than an across-the-board come-come-share-my-happiness kind of sharing with people, and time to watch modes of communication.

Yesterday’s episode on envy really creeped me out. In today’s social media world, everyone’s focussed on showing and shaping the beautiful image of their lives. I don’t do that, but I don’t want to be sucked into a spiral of grousing about things that go wrong either. So I try to maintain an upbeat outlook, but well… I guess, haters always hate. The Aries me does not want to discuss this anymore, but just seeks a solution to this. What is it that I can do?

Well. Take stock / inventory, watch my own behaviour, watch my own manners of speech, watch what I tell people, watch that I tell not about things that people may potentially have a sore spot for. I don’t want to, nor have to, be people pleasers, but I find that it is important to follow a heart of compassion in this sense. Yay! I just solved the equation! COMPASSION is the word. And suddenly, i realise the difference between compassion and empathy. Always knew they are different but never really delineate their meanings side-by-side.

I am mighty pleased that journalling really can solve problems. 🙂

Thank you, upcoming Autumn Equinox. Don’t be too harsh on me this year. I want to enjoy my Oct/Nov holiday. ❤

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