The choice I never knew of

I was reading Robyn’s post about Bobby having to choose his dominant hand, and I recalled my own childhood.

I never had (or got) to choose, because in my family and our culture then, it was a huge taboo to be left-handed. I remember my cousin being forced to write with his right hand, where forced = getting a caning each time he was spotted writing with his left. This physical punishment is such an Asian thing for “corrective” training etc, and my poor mom must have been totally distressed when faced with this question of whether “left-” or “right-” is best for him. She was worried about the inconveniences he would face if he had kept to being left-handed and it was a very valid concern because of our rigid culture here. The situation is sort of different from being ambidextrous and having to choose a dominant hand, but similar in a way. But then again, we never truly know how things might have evolved if my cousin had been allowed his left-handedness.

Being the people-pleaser I was, and always trying to be the obedient and good girl, I always wrote with my right, because left was wrong. I never thought I might have been a left-hander. When I got to high school, I started owning many colourful pens instead of just the normal blue, black and pencil. There were just too many colours and pens for one hand to handle. That was when I started drawing and sketching with my left. It was very natural, and I would use one hand to draw something, and then dot / decorate / draw something else with the other, both holding the pens at the same time. Almost like a dance of twin pens.

That was also the period when I played two-player tetris with my sister. When she had to study or did not want to play with me, I had my left hand play against my right. I suppose that was the time when my parents got pretty impressed with ambidexterity. I guess they must have been pretty relieved, for my mom had only made sure my cousin used his right hand in writing, but allowed him to use his left hand for everything else (e.g. chopsticks). Hmm. Come to think of it, I do also predominantly use my left hand for eating, be it with my hand for snacks or a fork for food.

Another suppressed inner child issue surfaced just like that. It really does help to hold the intention of resolving and dissolving Shadows.

* * *

Blog recommendation: Autism in Our Nest is one of my favourite-st blog on wordpress. I find Robyn to be a really inspiring soul, with her strength, fortitude, and wisdom in guiding and taking care of her family and sharing this with us. So much love and so much compassion, and so much I/we can learn from. ❤


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Deb Whittam says:

    This is really interesting – my brother is left handed but when he went to work in a bank everything was styled towards the right handed. He had to adapt to keep his job

    Liked by 1 person

    1. leapingtoes says:

      At one point I thought it is even a safety issue! Just look at the design of most stationery and tools – it’s dangerous to be left-handed. :/ hehe

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Robyn says:

    Thank you so much! I love yor blog as well – one of my favourite-st too! 🙂 That is really interesting about your culture. I did not know that right-handedness was stressed in Asian culture. And it sounds like you and your cousin are pretty well apt at using both hands (and may have been lefty’s if allowed). And I loved: Another suppressed inner child issue surfaced just like that. It really does help to hold the intention of resolving and dissolving Shadows. Great to learn – thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. leapingtoes says:

      After a whole night of pondering, my realisation is that it is a gift to be right-handed, it is a gift to be left-handed (and/or made to be right-handed), and definitely a very big gift to be ambidextrous. All gifts in their own ways. (First time putting this picture together!)

      Liked by 1 person

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