Last night closed with a very touching youtube video clip I was watching, and I went to sleep with the thought, “It’s good to be loved. It’s profound to be understood.” Yup, it was Portia’s pressie to Ellen, you can read about it here, and watch the youtube clip here.
After reading so many books about the impossible-ness of exchange between any two persons in this world, I almost feel like it is an impossibility to understand anyone or have anyone understand me. Yet at the same time, there are always those moments of having someone understand me, or even hear me (or my thoughts) when I did not even speak. Two seemingly irreconcilable concepts, but they had to coexist somehow. When I heard the line “it is profound to be understood”, that phrase just pulled everything together in place. I can dissect it further to finally understand that may be we cannot understand everything of another, but in moments that matter, in presence that matters, that click of 100% match in frequency and understanding is magical enough. It is really profound because one just cannot delineate or define what it means, AND what it takes, to reach that point of understanding.
Between one who is conversant in everyday life and anything in life, and one who speaks few words but just understands and reads the space of that present moment and responds as though the thoughts in my head are spoken from my mouth. Hmm. I don’t know, you have already reached the harder part of the profound understanding, I just wish for more of the normal human conversation, I suppose.
Each time I was asked, “did you say something?” I wanted very much to roll my eyes and say, “nope, I just have very loud thoughts”. Each time my loud thoughts got an actual verbal reply, I had to pause for a moment, “did I verbalise that?” and then stifle my guffaw with a smirky smile. It is a really sweet kind of funny.
Then again, communication is a dialogue. I suddenly realise that I held my part of the equation by not verbalising my thoughts enough too. Even though they do get read. *roll eyes*