Bittersweetness

I have reason to believe I have finally clambered (and found!) my way into the eye of the storm. The inner turmoil that had me writing non-stop these past couple of days, in wishful hope that some wise words can emerge out of the nonsensical ramblings of endless words making no head nor tail out of no situation that I could comprehend.

It is a little like having a durian. The crazy journey of manhandling the thorny hard husk into breaking it open. Then acknowledging that it really stinks as one gets to the core of the matter – the creamy bittersweetness of finally overcoming all that sucks. Finally, tasting the sweet (or just) desserts after.

Breathe. It’s all good now. Bring it on, Universe. 😉

I figured the core lesson this time was how good it feels to apologise. “Sorry, I own it”. I own the stupidity or naivety that things will just boil over, out of sight, out of mind. Not the patronising “sorry (well, too bad)” kind of apology, but seriously owning where one has done wrong, gone wrong, be it knowingly or unwittingly. It is owning the part of the equation we play a role in. It is very empowering! There is a certain feeling of liberation in that.

Again, I still insist (stubbornness 🙄 ) that there is nothing wrong with walking away from a situation that does not serve one’s higher good. BUT, I learnt that there is also the more elegant way of doing so with ease and grace – not the “yikes, I really don’t like this situation. Kthxbye”. There is also integrity and responsibility in play – everyone has a role to play, but it is not right, and downright irresponsible, to not clarify matters as it leaves the other end of the rope dangling for the others. I guess I am really thankful for opportunities to bring closure, however naively closed I had always assumed each chapter to be.

Guess this is partly what Lord Kuthumi said about subconscious thoughts hovering around until we ground them in the material world. Which would then empty out the subconscious space for more light and illumination of the higher consciousness.

Well, that is presumably my subliminal sub-conclusion at this moment. If that may be, I am now safely and comfortably in the eye of the storm, enjoying a good perspective of what’s going on. All ready for any other energies to continue gaining their momentum into my space, and I will close each chapter one by one. Yay, cheers to elevation for all souls concerned.

I’m sorry (I was such a terrible human),
Please forgive me (for my naivety that life just carries on),
Thank you (for the opportunity to close the loop),
I love you (for all that has passed).

4 Comments Add yours

    1. leapingtoes says:

      Congrats, and thanks for the nomination! ❤
      I keep my blog award-free cos it sort of breaks my momentum. But I like your questions! I'll answer them here, if it's okay with you. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. kkatch22 says:

        I totally understand!!! Anything you want to do is 100% okay with me. Just wanted to recognize you and let you know I enjoy your blog!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. leapingtoes says:

        Here we go~
        1. Possibly yes, but I will be cautious about managing expectations and my own emotions. People do change for the better, and it also really depends on the circumstances of how/why it happened.
        2. Soak chia seeds in coconut milk and put them in the fridge. Take out and sprinkle with some fruits. It is amazingly filling, yummy, and nutritious.
        3. Cry and sleep it off. Wake up, pig out, cry and sleep it off again.
        4. A swatch watch which is somewhere in my cabinet.
        5. My FYP (final year project) studio tutor who patiently explained many concepts which I should have learnt from my first year, but doing last minute catch-up three years late.

        Liked by 2 people

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