A feather floated past while I was writing the previous post. Guess the Light Team agrees I am walking the right way.
We worked on accepting Creator’s blessings yesterday, and it was a good exercise in testing out which programs running in the subconsciousness block us from accepting His blessings. I have been sending blessings of clarity to someone, and subconsciously I should have guessed that I too need clarity about that. Well, we all need clarity about many things many times, so guess too, it is something always good to have and be blessed with.
My monkey mind questions many things, one recent one was about freewill and prayers for others – if I have free-will, I would not like to have someone “enforcing” prayers on me. Then I read this article about a world of blessings which puts some sense in order – “When you bless someone, do you affect their free-will? Well, it is a part of their free-will to take those blessings.” Guess it works in a similar kind of way with prayers?
In our human lives, we accumulate many conditioned beliefs through our environment. I uncovered something silly again, and it was about my perspective on gifts being different from that of Creator’s. It went back to my junior college days, and it just sounds out-of-the-world-silly when I examine it decades after. Something like, “here, here, your gifts, so many of them”. And I went, “but teacher says I must focus on my A-levels” and that I must not distract myself however great I am at (and however much I enjoy) all other activities. TSK! Ah well, I did not ace my As, but it got me into architecture school and brought me onto a good path after all. I could have attained those not-so-acey results while at the same time excelling at all the other fun stuffs if not for those conditioned beliefs and the teachers obviously not trusting my ability to manage/balance, or that their KPIs matter more than me exploring my potential.
At least I know now. And I am seeing this into a different scenario altogether, where my perspective of abundance differ from that of Creator’s. Yesterday was like standing under different trees, and wondering which one to bark up at. It was good that we have a muscle-testing exercise that help recognise physically what our energy-body-as-a-whole is telling us. I signed up for this class thinking that I want to figure whether something is a blessing or test or there are further background programs attracting certain inconveniences. Deep within me, I know the answer, but sometimes mind monkeys and probes along the lines of “are you sure that’s not a background program”. Yesterday’s testing proved that the still small voice is right on the money again.
When working on the earlier surface exercise of where I feel I am pushing things away, I thought it was about me being too easily content and not hungry enough. Yet at the same time, there’s a gentle growling / rumbling that it was because that wasn’t what the goal was. Ah well, I spot now the linguistic difference when i use Thought and when I use Feel. The beauty of nuances. Sometimes we define things with our human minds, when we lack the understanding aligned with His perspective. Sometimes we define success a certain way, sometimes we associate abundance with that of that success, sometimes we have an underlying broader definition of what those successes and abundance are.
Sometimes (most times? all the time?) Creator has the broader understanding and delivering all the goodness we never see. Not that I’m rejecting it but that I am not recognising it, because the packing list is different. He may be delivering something as a stepping stone to that big big big big big big love and success in that big big big big loving way, but we see that stepping stone as the end in itself and ask, “am I too content? why can’t I be hungrier at pursuing it (the stepping stone) in a bigger kind of way?” Sometimes these stepping stones are designed as abundance to feed / sustain the growth so that life can move onto the bigger path. It is somewhat like lessons, but lessons – we know we do not want to stay there; but for stepping stones – we need to be able to see it for what it is and not to park there and make home.
Sometimes, Creator delivers gifts from the back door. In human terms, I would have called Him sneaking in gifts from the back. Again, we have to learn to view it for what it is. Sometimes they are gifts of sustenance, sometimes they are gifts of distractions (from getting spiralled into negative thoughts of the main purchase that we are looking out for, when it is late), and sometimes they could be the replacement gift itself. The mind can go dance its monkey dance all around the guesses, but the best way forward would be to live it out and see where life takes us. That experience would be His gift, and in there may lie more surprises and lottery winnings. ❤ I embrace all of them. ❤
Thank you for the clarity. I am sure now that what goes around comes around. Sometimes better specific, sometimes better vague. I wish too for wisdom and clarity in knowing the difference.