I am very very thankful for the people that Universe has been bringing into my life. It dawned on me yesterday that whether or not we see and receive what He is waiting to give, depends sooooooo much on how ready and willing we are to receive.
I was at the brink of another anxiety episode last week, small tiny one, but nonetheless, it was enough to shake me up from my daily routine and cloud my judgements a little. Small little statements like, “we each have our own little ups and downs to deal with from time to time” make really good consolation. When we stand alone, fighting the monster, it always appear much bigger than it actually is. When we open up and speak, we find that we are not alone, and the size of the monster shrinks back to reality.
Sometimes I don’t know why I am so apologetic about feeling down. I guess maybe it is because I know the law of vibration, and thus I do not like to talk about depressive stuff as it affects the people around me. Then again, that too shows how little faith I have in the surrounding environment? They can uplift me as well. That is how important it is to trust and have (sufficient, but not blind) faith in the web we are in. All of us are intricately linked, and just like how we should not be dumping junk (low emotions, undigested emotions, whinings for sake of whinings) into the web, we should also not be afraid to lean on the web at times when we have to.
I was very very touched when a senior / colleague told me this very jewel of wisdom: so many things in life are just numbers, and we should not let them affect us – however big a car you drive, the sqm you live in, the pay packet, ultimately we all and each only really take up that much space in life. It’s pretty cute, cos he’s a big guy, so he takes up more sqm. 😀 ❤
I normally talk more to the other senior because our class timings coincide much more. This senior looks a lot busier, so I did not want to disturb him too much on my little things. So hence, back to my opening para. That was my judgement on myself, that I am projecting on others. I am busy, and I crave peace, so I try to keep conversations to the minimal. But life is an intricate web, and for all the Oneness that I am writing about in this blog, being so individualistic is not really the way to go. While I am working so hard on opening myself up through engagements in development and developmental work, I really do need to take a hard look on the way I engage with people in my life at a personal level. Authenticity, little meself. Setting that barrier sets it on the platform of (not exactly hypocrisy) but inauthenticity (to a certain extent).
I woke up to this post KT (www.theluminousliving.com) wrote:
When you allow yourself to open up and connect with others in a deeper way, that’s when true connection happens.
You are not filtering your truth.
Neither are they.
You are not hiding.
Neither are they.
You are not contracting.
Neither are they.
You are simply being true.
So are they.
You are opening up to spread your love and be loved.
So are they.
Drop your armor and stop all judgement.
So I was on a tuktuk ride to school with the senior (my flight was sooooooo late, I ended up landing the same time he did!) And while on the quiet bumpy ride, I could feel the inner prodding to speak. While at the same time, I could also feel the inner debate to “be quiet, there is no need to let people know this”. This was the first time I observed my own conversations in this context. And I realise it really takes conscious effort to open up, and it take conscious effort to listen to guidance within. There must be a Higher reason – it could be for him, it could be for me. I don’t know. But I know this morning, I did ask the Light Team for help on some matters, and for mySelf to hear their guidance.
I was not sure if I did right, there was always that iffy-ness of doing something stupid. I am not even sure what consequences I am afraid of, about opening up. What? To be laughed at? For people to judge me on my stupid train of thoughts? For my crazy ungrounded beliefs? These are definitely self-judgements projected on the external world. When I woke up this morning to what KT wrote, I knew these are conversations Universe is having with me through many different people. And she just told me she posted it in rush before her yoga and just knew she had to post it, and our conclusion is that it is meant for me! ❤
So yes, speak up. AA Gabriel says, “When your focus is ‘How may I serve?’ then you won’t worry what others think about you.” When we speak, we speak for the Universe too.
Ragtag Daily Prompt today is Broadcast.