Life’s knowns and unknowns

As many of you know by now, I have been working on clearing my karma / karmic issues from lives present and past, hoping that it will lead to a lighter future, or even more favourably – no future. In the process / processing, I witness for myself the events in the timelines and most times, it bewilders me, “why the heck would anyone do that?”, and also most times, I have to do alot alot of research after the sessions to fill in the gaps so that my conscious mind understands what is going on. (Note / Question to self: does it matter whether or not the conscious mind knows? If all the energies have been cleared from the subtle bodies?)

And most synchronistically, every time any such lesson pops up, it either clarifies a current nagging question/issue, or …. drumroll … it is in preparation of what is to come.

In my last workshop where I re-did my Game of Life (Thetahealing) course, what came up was how I caused the extinction of an entire species. The course was in end October, but I never really had the guts to write about it, because that is how ashamed I am of my (prior life’s) wrongdoing.

Universe had the compassion to place this lesson side-by-side by a similar one of shame, when I was overthrown by the masses. I still vividly remember the scene, when we testing the beliefs, “it is safe to … ” and when I was shown that past life, I was asked, “did you die?” “were you persecuted?” (I had many lives of persecution – which also happened to be how I stumbled onto this energetic healing journey) My reply then was plainly, “nope, didn’t die. Just shamed”, “overthrown”, and I remember my classmates also laughing at my response “just shamed” because who cares about being shamed right, I didn’t get killed. 😀 The stark answer that got me crying was when I said, “but they were just animals“. That was how my soul felt, and what my soul (then) understood – it was during some French Revolution (I didn’t do much research on this one, because the bigger story – later paragraph – ate my heart) and I was either a nobleman or an aristocrat (or are these two the same?). I cried because the current me feels I was evil. Then Creator explained that during that period, the masses (people …. human beings …) were viewed by the aristocrats/nobility as something else altogether, as though a separate species from the rich and powerful. 😦 Horrible, right? Not that I want to “shirk responsibility”, but what this has taught me was that sometimes we are just caught in situations when we do what we are taught to do because we weren’t shown any better ways of doing so. 😦

Well, to make myself feel a tiny little bit better, maybe that is why I have made so many trips around France, and … each time I’m there, I make many small donations here and there to organisations and people on the streets. Because I feel very drawn to do so. Almost as though I owed it to them. And that was before the emergence of this story.

Alright the bigger story, albeit a briefer one. I was a nobleman. This time, it is strange, it was clearly a nobleman – no fuzziness with aristocracy. Then again, I was definitely part of royalty, maybe edging nobility. Maybe if I do more detailed research, this can be Creator’s clues on which specific period it is. (And thus, this may, in part, answer the question to self at the initial para… ) Anyway, bye to Monkey Mind chasing after names and titles.

I was under immense pressure to perform, as I had little creative contribution to the royal population (ahah, does anyone put royal and population in the same phrase?!). I had to come up with something new that can intrigue and hold the attention of my peers.   So I came up with this idea of sport hunting. WHAT THE HECK. (I am starting to research as I write this post .. and … 😡 humans have caused 322 extinctions over the past 500 years 😦 ) On hindsight, it does not sound quite right that I “invented” sport hunting, since it is something that has been around for ages, so it could be rather the hunt for that specific animal? Thank goodness that some better person came around and banned sport hunting in palace grounds.

It is very hard to continue writing this in my usual lighthearted manner after what I have just read/wrote. … . I actually no idea why I am still prodded to continue my writing, but we will find out at some point, I guess.

So. I saw the animal, it was a very beautiful, majestic hoofed animal, looking much like a humongous deer with gorgeous antlers. Yes, I saw myself beside a dead beautiful majestic animal that did me no wrong. But I saw how guilty I felt and how sorry I felt for the animal which had helped me in achieving my goals (stupid chase for fame and glory. arghz. what the heck.) But in that lifetime, I did not (as yet) see its extinction. It is only the current me looking back and … … … ARGHZ. So I sent healing to the trauma – for both myself and the animal. And then healing to the entire species. The very gentle animal came back to comfort me in that healing. 😥 It was so forgiving and even explained many aspects of the bigger picture to me. I cannot recall as yet, but as we have learnt from previous healing stories, the details arise when the need arises. I cannot forget the gentle and nurturing look on this majestic animal. ❤

At that point in time, I understood the crux of the healing as lesson of forgiving humanity, because I have always had this innate pissed-off-ness with the stupidity of human race in caring only for ourselves, without understanding the larger context of how we have caused the destruction to other beings sharing the planet with us (and still thinking we are so darn smart). Hah, we always end up pointing the fingers to ourselves! The other aspect of the healing was to release my fear of leading humanity, because there was an underlying subconscious fear of my leadership leading to the destruction and death of others. This session pained me alot more than the destruction of Atlantis. Guess it is also because I partook in leading the destruction of Atlantis, but I was only “part” of the leadership, rather than being the leadership. (blame-sharing? maybe).

In the context of today, when we are reading about billions of animals being killed by wildfires, and the possibility of many extinctions, I am pretty sure that session has something to show me or guide me on the Higher Perspective. My little brain has yet to figure, but will update along the way.

What a painful start to the year. We have barely passed the 2/3s of the first month of 2020.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. This concept of leading is such a difficult one, isn’t it? It contrasts with the concept of showing, doesn’t it? Like your deer, which is full of compassion. I have no idea what I am talking about, but it’s just a thought….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. leapingtoes says:

      Concept of leading is hard because any one mistake gets magnified as much as (or more than) the people partaking in it. Plus there are all kinds of people in this world with all kinds of agendas and standpoints, so there will always be some critique at one point or another. PLUS, if we add the time factor into the equation, it gets worse – we don’t know what “animal” we have just brought into the picture. E.g. the guy who invented explosives for easing the lives of labourers chiseling away might be turning in his grave when he sees how these explosives are used in battles and wars. E.g. also the guy who invented plastic bags for something long lasting so we can reuse again and again and again will be shocked at how his plastics are filling up the oceans today. By these two examples, I am referring to leadership in the form of leading people into a new world (with no idea what the future holds after that).
      So in a way, the compassion I was seeing is more along the lines of how we do the best to our abilities suited / best suited for that time and age, but we have to accept (without guilt and/or judgement) of what happens after. That life on earth is a team relay where batons get passed from one generation to another, and we just pray very hard that we don’t drop the baton when it is in our charge. And maybe train the next baton-carriers well to not drop the baton when it is in their charge.
      In terms of the “showing”, I see it two ways – lead by example (showing by doing) on a positive note, and showiness on a negative note. I also have no idea what I am talking about .. and mom just got home and talking nonstop to me (I’ll catch up on this one later!!!).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I see what you mean. They are closely related. Very complicated though.
        Your mother wouldn’t talk non-stop would she, Ping? Heehee.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. leapingtoes says:

        Hahaha enough to warrant a stand-alone post!! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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