I feel so floaty today. Must have spent too much time in outer space last night. I am currently reading a book “The Surrender Experiment” loaned to me by a colleague, and I am trying to do as the author did – be in a state of meditation whatever he is doing. Not sure how he did it, I merely tried meditating more hours than I usually do, and my head in now floaty and fluffy somewhere else in space.
Maybe this is a little extreme for me at this moment. Or maybe I have misinterpreted what he wrote. I have always tried to be in a meditative state whenever and whatever I do, but not exactly in meditation per se, but rather just be very centred, detached, and mindful of what is going on. More like what Thich Nhat Hanh explains about being in a meditative state as he talks to people. Basically I keep my crown open and the energies flowing through there and observe the guidance from a higher perspective. Which means, even as I talk to my friends, colleagues, families, students, I speak as guided. Sometimes wisdom flows through which I do not recognise as mine – so I suppose there is a higher wisdom when I get into a centred “space”, or maybe more abstractedly referring to being aligned to the present moment.
I guess when we let go of the material self, and admit and accept that the flow in life is a greater energy than our thoughts, it allows us to be more resilient? In that if we see that sometimes adversities are brought upon us to help guide us onto the “better” path, we can be more resilient because instead of being knocked over by the sh*t/crap that messes up our plans – what we desire the outcome to be – we spring back and recognise that it is the flow of life realigning us on what is for our highest good?
Creator sees things in a much larger perspective and also way in advance of what we can predict or understand. Sometimes He shows them to us, but if we are not at the platform of understanding His storyline, we just cannot understand even if it is straight out in our face. I have blogged about such examples quite a few times already. The most recent one I have yet to have the guts to look at it head-on. Sometime in October last year, I had asked for Creator’s perspective on an exit strategy for something I am working on, and was told that things are already moving, and I need not do anything about it. There and then, I did a little sketch of the image I was shown – it was a machine that was moving rhythmically and there was a white piece of cloth sliding back and forth through a series of gears. I was told that it is something new, that I cannot recognise, but will see it sometime end Jan / early Feb. And that whatever that I am supposed to do will be ready for me around Sep / Oct. Hmm. I was quite freaked out then, because I was hoping that all will close out by end of last year (so hopes the impatient ram), and was worried about what the white canvas / cloth could mean (no sense of scale when zoned out somewhere out there in the Universe). So … well … sometimes in end Jan / early Feb, I started seeing masks productions on the news and … the rhythm and the conveyance through the series of gears reminds me of the sketch I made during that session. (I’ll scan and insert it when I find it).
You may be wondering what this has got to do with resilience. To me, it just boils back down to the same idea but with an even more strengthened foundation of why and how I can trust that the Universe has my back. Not just mine, but yours too. Just in different ways. There is a bigger picture, and it may not be what we can imagine. Just because it is not what we can imagine, or not match up to what we have imagined, it does not mean that our world has crashed. Instead, it means that miracles can be beyond our imagination.
Up till now, I still do not see that Sep/Oct event, but because the short-term Jan/Feb unfolded and now I can see what He means by “it is something new, you have not seen it before”, I am sure that the Sep/Oct event is something new, I have not seen it before, but it can be as perfect and life-changing as He had promised.
My life is not “beautiful” but I just choose to write about the happier and more meaningful things. Most of the sh*t/crap are something I am still pondering, still trying to figure, and sometimes just wild stabs in the dark to see what unfolds. I do not usually write about the deep deep stirring in my guts that freak me out completely, but I choose to Trust, and I choose to Surrender. Centre myself and feel for where the best attempt goes.
Sometimes I get answers I do not like. I ask again, and again and again. But Universe explains patiently, just from different angles, patiently to let me see from different angles until I can accept it. Universe phases out what He wants to tell me, depending on what I am ready for. There is something else that just unfolded too, I am still trying to figure, and surrendering to what is given, while still making centred choices and decisions, I am still watching things unfold. Surrendering does not mean giving up, it does not mean letting Universe decide, it means opening up what Universe is providing, and still exercising free will but guided by the Universe or guided by what I understand from the Universe.
I am enjoying this. It makes me really nervous because I have no idea what Universe is delivering. But every step that I look back and understand the previous steps … oh my, this whole is a huge huge world beyond what we can imagine.