This evening, I learnt that I have been basking in esoteric bodies of knowledge – so esoteric that I was never really sure if they really do exist or if they really are correct. It is easy to say, “just soak it all in”. But, this human sense of insecurity is not making it that easy to just soak it in. The mechanism of protection from the unknown, I suppose. The unknown – how would one know if it is benevolent or malevolent.
I guess, I cannot know. But I can feel.
It is really weird. There are certain things that I would normally just mechanically complete the task so I can move on to clear more ticks off the checklist. However, something felt funny earlier this week. It just felt off. It is one of the repetitive tasks I do to close every month, so it should be simple and straightforward. But this month, it was slightly of an anomaly, and the figure was not a big deal, but it was definitely not the usual. The feeling was “don’t“. It was super annoying because I am someone who cannot overrun my timeline, which I will be super uneasy until it gets done. So August passed and came September, the feeling was still an insistent “don’t“. 5 days have passed, so I guess, I have now grown used to the uneasiness of overrunning my date dues. YET, I still have not figured out why. Maybe it is not time to unveil itself yet.
Right at the other spheres of my life, Universe gave assurance of this feeling (a different one on a different thing) that is just unexplainable but extremely reliable. It was just another random thing that something happened to someone and the feeling told me “this is associated to that”. To me, it is none of my business – just peripheral knowledge. But feeling has very associative skills, even with things that is really none of my business. So, I acknowledged that feeling, brushed it off as extraneous information, and then moved on with my life. That was on Sunday evening. Then this evening, someone fed me more information about the matter, and I was thinking to myself, “yikes, so I guessed correctly”. I actually wasn’t guessing, just that one of my esoteric bodies of knowledge auto-fed them to me. It is something that does not concern me (or, not that I know of) so I am not quite sure what use this information is.
My interim guess is that, since Universe cannot unveil the story of the mystery I am facing yet, this is some kind of interim assurance to know to Trust that still small voice.
OOooh. In fact, it is not a feeling, but rather a very commanding voice. Just because it is small, does not mean I should allow the noise to override it. That smallness in its stillness has its place and should still be respected.
[I think Still Small Voice just took over the last para because I almost could not hear it. Now I see it. 😎 ]