Yikes, I got Covid again. Actually I am fully recovered but just waiting for the ART to show up negative.
It is sooooo annoying. Yes, I am here to rant about it. I think my blogger space is the most benign place for me to vent my frustrations without causing anyone hurt. Pppppfffffff. There must be a lesson somewhere too, hopefully by the time I finish this blog, I have uncovered the hidden lesson(s).
I was back in PP to teach last week, and returned on Saturday afternoon, only to teach in SG over the long weekend. I was very daring, since right now there are no pre-departure testing requirements both ways. PLUS, “I already had Covid” and “definitely within 90 days” so I was very certain nothing’s going to go wrong (at least not on my part).
This long weekend class had always been an iffy thing right from when we fixed the dates. We did the basic in the last long weekend, and the next long weekend (next week!) is not a viable date for a couple of them. And so we fixed it as such. Turned out that the venue I have been using has the Sunday booked, so we only had Monday and Tuesday there. My dear bro (who’s usually out of town during long weekends) kindly allowed me to use his space, even though for this long weekend he is in town. It was very very iffy for me. I usually have everything flow perfect in everything that is meant to be. However, even with this glitch, the feeling was to still go for it (“try something different”, “push boundaries instead of keeping to safety zones”) and even Creator was supportive of that, “go ahead, watch how things unfold”. The students were also very game for it, and prodded to go ahead, even though I did express my iffiness and the considerations above. (The good part is, it shows how much they love the class!!)
Oh my. Watch how things unfold. Gasp. I never expected it to unfold in this manner, however loving and supportive Creator sounded.
The day before the class, one student went to A&E for kidney stone(s). He was in soooo much pain, I did the healing for him via Telegram. We were still hopeful he could make it for the class, we even made alternative arrangements so he could attend a separate conference call on day 2 of class. On Sunday, he was in pain again and went back to A&E. Owww. (But on hindsight, this might be a blessing in disguise. Imagine that!!!!)
Day 1 of class was uneventful. Until another student got a crazy headache and sore throat and grogginess. It was only Day 1 and we weren’t even in the peak of the “downloads”. After class, she went home and tested Positive. This was the part that made me real mad but I don’t know how to verbalise it out. She had already felt unwell, but was very very keen to attend class, didn’t want to miss it, and came for it. Not sure if it even crossed her mind to self-test. I really don’t know how to feel about this. On one hand, it is really totally irresponsible, but on the other hand, she sounded very apologetic and regretful. It is very annoying because imagine if someone in class has some pre-existing condition, how unfair is that. I don’t really know how to go about berating her on this, we are all adults, is there still a need to berate her for that? So I was just pissed but at the same time if I were to put myself in her shoes, would I have done that too? But nah, guess my sense of civic responsibility is way higher than hers, and no matter how much I do not want to miss something, I will still at least open up the conversation and see if there can be alternatives instead. Another thing that makes me calm down about this is still that – it really feels like it is meant to be. She took his (the earlier-mentioned student) manual by mistake in the other class, and brought it back to return to me for safekeeping (so that I can return him when I do a make-up class for him) but she took it back to refer to something just before she left. Well, they will be meeting each other in the make-up class since both of them ended up missing this class.
Day 2 was okay, we just moved ahead with class. There was only one person who has not gotten covid, and since she was okay (and since it was probably too late as we have already spent a day with the covid positive person), we went ahead. But on Day 3, she started feeling unwell – grogginess, headache, and dry throat. Oh dear oh dear. That was so fast. She was well enough to complete the class, and so we did.
The next day after class, we all tested ourselves (since we are out of our little class bubble and about to step into the rest of the world plus we are all super civic-minded about it), and both she and I tested positive! (Now, can you see why it may be a blessing in disguise that the guy did not make it to this class? Or maybe it is really what-is-meant-to-be just “unfolding” before our eyes.)
Yikes. I did what healing I did the last time, and the test came back negative when I re-tested in the afternoon. But guess I was bogged down by all the negative emotions – anger frustration at the-irresponsible-uncivic-minded-she, and guilt worry about my bro and his family, and deepsh*ts pondering about what-the-hell-am-i-learning-from-this – I got positive again the next day. The symptoms were super darn obvious compared to last time. My nose was runny like an open tap, my body was warm all over, I could not concentrate with all the mind fog. My body temperature normalised within a day, the runny nose took two days to halt and turn into a slightly blocked nose, and then my throat went dry, and I lost my voice for a night (the voice came back overnight though). Now I am fully okay and functioning, and just waiting for the test to come back negative (I’m scrimping on test kits, so I’m testing again tomorrow morning!)
IT IS VERY IRRITATING!!! It just takes one irresponsible person to drag down two others, plus affecting the families of the two others as well! What the heck am I learning from this? (I probably sound super mean and racist here,) if you look through my earliest blogposts before this covid even had a name, I mentioned a certain group of people who are super inconsiderate and I will stay far far far away from, I would have and should have been very very careful with this person!!! I feel sad about stereotyping people, plus she is a good old friend (not just a student), but she has once again proven that certain groups just aren’t culturally inclined to care and have considerations for others above their own interests. Note to self: I probably need to do more healing on my prejudices against this group too. TSK!
Anyway, it’s not nice to just pinpoint one incident one person to one group. Reminder to self to be more careful, and know that (regardless of whichever ethnic/cultural group one is from) not everyone is that socially responsible and civic minded. Maybe some have more propensity to do so than others. Whatever the case, I just have to set down rules!!!! Even though the government has scrapped the testing requirements, it does not mean that I should allow irresponsible jerks to run rampant in my classes. Maybe instead of stating it as rules, I shall be passive-aggressive and just remind everyone to be civic-minded and considerate towards others, and test ourselves before the class!!!
It is very annoying because I am extremely careful with myself – when I feel discomfort, I will actually tell my students beforehand, and I test myself every morning before the class!! I should really just extend that level of self-conscientiousness to everyone else (but is that the right way to do it? it does not feel right enforcing my way of life to everyone else).
Anyway. I am glad I am totally okay now, without much stress (but with much frustration and fumes) but the poor other classmate had it quite bad (she said she has 80% of covid symptoms) but getting better now.
I don’t know what to think of this. But if I were to squeeze some drops of essential lessons/benefits out of this, it would be that:
- Set rules to safeguard the safety and health of others!
- Some things really need to unfold so I can learn these lessons before the class gets bigger! (Thank you Creator for the fair and early warning!)
- A whole week of rest! Something I really needed!
- Prep for future. I worked through a lot of healing, I suppose it is to prep me for a higher bigger platform. (Thank you Creator for that too!)
- Seeing things with a bigger heart! My bro was so open about it, while I was the one feeling all the sh*t emotions, I shall see things with his kind of love, openness, and acceptance about whatever life throws in.
- To not take things for granted and not just assume (e.g. having covid once doesn’t mean not getting covid again. I will keep this thought out of my brain so I don’t attract it again, but yea, really, do not take anything for granted and do not assume).
- It is eye-opening to follow divine guidance and learn from what flows in. Rather than keep myself in super safety zone, which although very safe, it keeps my world and my ventures very very very small and limited.
- Trust divine guidance – He brings trial and error and experimentation in a small sample size, so that I can learn in a safe zone. Which also means, I can really continue to trust and have faith when in the huge open world out there.
Well well well, I guess that’s good enough learning so far. Feeling hoping great luck great blessings and having a negative test result tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Blessings blessings blessings.
Take heart. I am worthy of Creator’s guidance. Love. Blessings. (So are you and everyone!)